deathoftheauthor | the city

( well. this is unexpected. )

It's a very festive N.

Yes, I'm awake. I usually am at this hour. I don't typically go to bed until sunrise... though I have been known to nap from time to time.

Are you having a good night?

wouldn't ya know it, I'm haivng a fuckib terribe night but drinkin about it always makes things better

[ no it certainly does not make things better. first he was sad, now he's drunk and sad, tomorrow he'll be blisteringly hungover and sad. ]

soun.ds kinda cool. I was nocturnal for a while because of work doin night shifrs but I always kinda hated aleepin during the day

We don't have much choice in the matter. The sun comes up, and we sleep. It's innate to our biology, though I admit I find it inconvenient.

( But. Reno is having a terrible night. Louis is compassionate, but unaccustomed to actually offering that compassion to anyone. After all, who would want it, knowing what he is? Small acts of kindness can feel hypocritical when he's done so many unforgivable things. But Louis also isn't accustomed to having anything he might call "friends." Are he and Reno friends? They must be something by now, and friends seems as good a word for it as any, if he's made it onto the man's list of drunk dials. And he finds that he doesn't like the idea of that easy smile turning serious.

He fidgets. Types. Deletes. Types again. )

Are you all right? Did something happen?

[ they are friends, aren't they. Reno thinks so, anyway, although he's also very used to his friendships being one-sided. still, he can only assume that because Louis didn't immediately KO him after their kiss at the gala that he must at least like Reno well enough to call him a friend. ]

yeah kinda. it's a long story here's th. e short vwrsion the other person frim my world who was here with me went home. she's dead, so it ai n't likr she's going back tto much. shr died because I failed her once and now she'd dead again and I feel like I failed her again I'll be okay but tonight it's jusr. yeah

I could tell you that we don't know for certain what any of us are going back to, but I doubt that would help.

I'm very sorry to hear it. For her, and for you. That is a heavy burden to bear. Did you know her well?

"well" I dunno. known her whst, ten twelve years now.. we weren't friends bur I also probably knew more about jer thaan almost anybody

Ten years is a very long time. If that doesn't make you friends, it certainly makes you something.

we should have been enemies probably but shewas s good. she was the best of us I think. she forgave way too easily

Why would you have been enemies?

I'm sorry, that's probably a terribly complicated question to ask.

can't ttell you I think you're too good for it

Too good? Why in the world would you say that?

I think you're nice ain't anybody ever tell you you're good before??

I'm sincerely touched that you see me that way.

I try to treat people with kindness, but I've done too much wickedness in my life to be called good.

yeah man ypu and me both guess I gotta... try to believe that we xan be better than the worst things we've done you know?

I know. And I do believe that. When we define ourselves by our worst actions, we lose hope of rising above them. If we cannot make up for the wrongs we've done, we might at least spare others the same harm.

yeah, man. exactly exactly that

Are you all right? I'm afraid I'm no good at cheering anyone up, but do you need company?

so you say but this actually helped a lot. i ain't ever really been the type to talk about feeling s n shit lol but I appreciate you lerlttng lettijg me think it's in everybody's best interest if I go thr fuck ti sleep bit hey you wanna come over sometime? I know you can't eat or drink or whatever but yknow. could hang nonpressure

In that case... I'm glad I could help in some way. If you still feel like talking once you've slept and sobered up and nursed your inevitable headache, you may call on me after sunset tomorrow.

( wait. )

Come over just to visit, you mean?

...

I think that would be nice. I have a growing list of films I intend to watch. Perhaps you could help me with it.

yeah just to visit, or watch a movie or somethin

[ he'll make a friend of you yet, Louis! ]

fuck yeah, that's what I'm talkin about! bring your list let's work on it together

I think I would enjoy that.

Forgive me if I sound awkward. I'm not accustomed to... well. Having friends, I suppose.

nothin wrong with that. this is like a test run for makin friends right? and if it goes well then you n me will be friends at the end idk about you but I'd like that

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